February 3, 2016 George Foster

Ride like lightning, crash like thunder……..

......crash like thunder.

You can always rely on those fellas from over the water for a good quote. Found this absolute beauty just now, totally by accident I must add, whilst looking for some Andy Hampsten soundbites. Thought it good to share; the more you know, the more you know you don’t know and all that. It’s from Bob “Bobke” Roll a Yank cyclist from the late 80’s/early 90’s………this is a training tip from ol’Bobby-boy:

Tip 1: Crashing is better than eating right. Eating right makes you feel good about yourself. This is the last dang thing you want. You want to feel absolutely shitbag about yourself. Your self-esteem should be lower than a snake’s belly at the bottom of a Deep South penitentiary septic tank.

When you have the appropriate base level of self-esteem, you’ll want to inflict the grinding horror of your mind upon all around you. Appeasing the torments of your mind by ripping people’s legs off in a bike race so you can be seen kissing the podium dolls is the best path. Eating right is better suited to actresses who’ve guzzled so many lies getting movie roles that their digestive enzymes have been vaporized.

Now, crashing, on the other hand, gives you scar tissue, and scar tissue tells a story no idiotic tribal barbwire tattoos ever will. And as the stories of your scars are retold, you’ll get hungry for sour mash and pork rinds. It is almost impossible to eat a macrobiotic salad while picking at your scabs and describing your ass-over-tits, auger-into-the-gravel-pile-moving-into-sprint-postion in the last corner. Self-hate propels the bicycle faster than all the 30/30/40 ratio flim-flam, phin-phen scam artists combined.”

Yes, you read that right.

......crash like thunder.

……crash like thunder.

Beautiful isn’t it?

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