December 21, 2017 George Foster

Realities: Touching The Cloth

The first in a little series that I’ll try to publish on a monthly basis (time/idea/inspiration/memory dependent). Life is full of realities. No shit. Life is reality as reality is life. There are a number of certainties in life too. Taxes. Death. Aston Villa being crap at football. Running has a number of realities, or, perhaps expressed better, commonalities. Not every runner is lucky enough to shit themselves whilst out for a jog. This I know.

You’ve guessed, I assume, that this first ‘episode’ concerns the delicate matter of the runner’s runs. I’m 32 years old and so far since turning this age I can count on both hands and both feet the number of times I’ve had to stop mid-run for a poop-poop. I can count on one hand, maybe two, how many times I haven’t stopped in time. I feel confident enough to admit this to the community of anonymity that is the internet, and thus the world.

I don’t know why this happens. I eat 10mins before I go running. I eat 3 hours before I go for a run. I drink a coffee 45 mins before going for a run. I don’t drink a coffee 45 mins before going for a run. You can see where this is going. Anyone got any tips to help?

I seek solace in the fact that a) God loves me at least, and b) the man who just became the first European to run sub-2:06 in the marathon is the man in the photo below…….

Ooooohhhhhh dear.

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