……and no, that’s not racist.

Take a lookey-loo at the photo below. What do you notice?

Did you say something along the lines of “all the lead runners’ shoes are super bright and colourful”?

Yes?

Well, give yourself a solid pat on the butt.

More colourful shoes directly translate to faster runs. Fucking FACT.

Fuck off your dialled-in nutrition strategies. Bin your HR monitor and GPS pace-analysis watch. Say ta-raa to carbo-loading and specific work-out sessions. Nah, nah, nah. If you want to run faster than any other bastard on that start line, you’d best be investing in some bright as fuck shoes. It is the only way.

Repeat after me…..”BRIGHT SHOES, RUN FAST”.

As the famous saying goes “to look good, is already to go fast.” Ignoring the piss-poor grasp of syntax, when English isn’t your first language, that statement is all the evidence you need that proves this ‘bright shoes/fast running’ theory as fact.

Yeah and so what if you’ve just taken a slightly closer look at the picture above and seen that the dude actually leading the race is wearing some black trainers. Big fucking deal. He doesn’t count as he’s probably on drugs* (see previous post).

*That is, as far as I know, wholly UNTRUE and UNFOUNDED (though he was bastard rapid).